NO8DO

If the name in the voice mail doesn’t match who you’re calling, then odds are you have the wrong number. Don’t keep calling and leaving messages for some other person.

thenames-hiccup:

yo mama jokes don’t work very well here

flabber-gasted-fools:

minxiekitten:

raubbenhood:

Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.

WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!

OMG, YES. 

Bitch who asked you ?
A bitch who didn’t ask you   (via clockworkjerk)

gobe:

Heart.Just.Broke.
Earth Day indeed.

plotdesigner:

falling-in-love-with-fandoms:

highfunctioningdarklordofall:

can’t you imagine it though?

ginny’s going through a questioning phase and her older brothers keep making sex jokes so she writes in her diary “what’s a clitoris?” and tom’s on the other side like “i am a dark lord but i have a duty to this poor girl”

are you trying to insinuate that Voldemort gave Ginny Weasley the sex talk

I wanted to … make [Rorschach] as like, ‘this is what Batman would be in the real world’. But I have forgotten that actually to a lot of comic fans, ‘smelling’, ‘not having a girlfriend’, these are actually kind of heroic! So Rorschach became the most popular character in Watchmen. I made him to be a bad example. But I have people come up to me in the street and saying: ‘I AM Rorschach. That is MY story’. And I’d be thinking: ‘Yeah, great. Could you just, like, keep away from me, never come anywhere near me again as long as I live?’
Alan Moore  (via clockworkjerk)

lokiloo:

My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”

I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.


This is why you weren’t in the avengers

This is why you weren’t in the avengers